is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
