I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
