Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
