I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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