Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
