it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
