We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize