i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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