Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
