im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
