walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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