i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
