i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
