You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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