I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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