you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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