wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
