I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
