everyone is single if you try hard enough
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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