Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize