I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
