The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
