I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
