wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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