You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
