I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
