So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
