No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
