PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize