david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
