So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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