How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
