One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
