I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
