Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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