please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize