covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize