just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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