i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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