Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
