I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
