Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
