AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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