He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
