So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize