yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
