Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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