i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
