that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
