Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I need water and some morals
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
