she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
