so explain again why im purple
no
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
