I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
