I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
