We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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