Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
