He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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