i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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