your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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