They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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