Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
