I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Found the puke drawer
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
