I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
