awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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