The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
