i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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